Feeling good about yourself means loving and accepting yourself inside and out, it means accepting all the things you love about yourself and things you are not a fan about. Many of us struggle with insecurities and these insecurities make it HARD for us to feel good about ourselves. Social insecurity which makes people scared about coming off as awkward or unconfident makes people avoid social gatherings altogether, and this makes it hard for them to be happy with themselves.
Job insecurity revolves around a person feeling inadequate in their workplace. They feel overwhelming doubt, confusion, hesitation, and uncertainty about their job, constantly feeling like a fraud. Students may experience a similar type of insecurity that leads them to question their intelligence. In either case, people with job and school insecurity face problems including failing grades, poor work performance, and leaving tasks unfinished.Body image issues, perfection issues and many more such issues make it hard for people to feel good about themselves.
Sometimes many of us just don’t feel at the top of our games, and many times thatsometimes changes to not feeling good about yourselves all the time. All of us have insecurities, big or small as they may be, they make us feel less worthy of many things. Insecurities play a big part in not being able to feel good about yourself. Often children of ignorant parents face challenges with self esteem as their parents often neglected them as children. These children grow up to be hyper independent and are often always working to prove themselves as worthy. When they fail to do so they feel like they are not good enough.
All genders face different challenges and have different standards that they have to live up to for eg: Women are always compared with women with lean body types, men are compared with heights and strength and other genders are often rejected socially, it is very hard to feel good about yourself if you don’t feel loved.
This is very common in many people. As social beings humans seek a lot of validation, and the one person whose validation they seek the most is themselves. With validation comes feeling good about yourself, which many people struggle with. It varies from not being able to feel good about yourself when you couldn’t achieve something you wanted to, to not being happy even if you did achieve it.
Many insecurities: not feeling good enough, not feeling attractive, being weak, not being tall, not being short, not fitting in the “normal” spectrum, not being rich, not being fluent in a language, feeling unwanted, feeling lazy. These are just a few of the MANY insecurities people have which affect their mental health and act as barriers in their lives which don’t let them feel good about themselves.
A lot of scientific evidence points towards an important link between how you feel about yourself and your overall health and sense of well-being. Scientists have often strongly believed that feelings of inferiority have the capacity to pave the way to illness or disease. On the other hand, if you feel good about yourself, they have a positive outlook, and maintain an active involvement in life, you’re more likely to be happy and healthy.
Points to help you feel good about yourself :
Get to know yourself :
The first and the most important step towards feeling good about yourself is getting to know yourself. Find yourself, find out what you like, what makes you happy. All of us need to realize that true success is when you wake up in the morning and you’re excited to go about your day and this will happen only if you do things that you enjoy doing. Find out your strengths and focus on your future goals.Everyone has things they genuinely like doing, something that they look forward to everyday. For one it could be waking up and opening the blinds, for some it could be going to the gym. Find things that make life worth living, it will make you love yourself more. Watch TED talks on youtube to get inspired from common people like us who have been through stuff and go on the platform to share their story. Find your thing.
Trust yourself :
Remember that other people are so busy thinking about how they look, how they are acting, whether you like them or not that they won’t even think about how you look or how you are acting. The most important thing then is to be your own first choice and trusting your own actions and skills. You can’t really lie to yourself, even if you are trying to do so, you just know hence the only other option is to trust yourself with the decisions you’re about to make.
Stop comparing yourself to others :
This could be one of the hardest things to do. Living in a world which makes every little thing a competition and then asking you “not to compare” seems harsh but what this actually means : if someone is better than you at something, that doesn’t make you any less better at it than you actually are. Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 10. Comparing is harsh, people brought up by parents who constantly compared them to other kids often struggle with this a lot. Used to being constantly compared with other people, these kids become adults with a mindset that “I need to be better than the next person”. Heal your inner child.
Acceptance :
If you aren’t confident in yourself it’s alright to pretend. “Fake it till you make it” is something everyone should abide by. This seems erratic? Not only is self confidence attractive to other people but it boosts your self esteem which further increases your self love. Building these two will help you start your journey of self love. Our emotional and physical states will be in their prime when we are confident in ourselves. Go to the gym, practice yoga, and fuel your body. These are some things which will better you physically which will in turn make you more confident.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good :
The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut those toxic people off. Don’t let them affect your mood, don’t let them control your choices. Studies have shown that people feel the most comfortable in clothes they like than the ones they don’t. People are the same, if you feel comfortable around someone then you like them and they are good for you.Cutting off toxic people will make you feel good about yourself as they may be the reason for your inability to love yourself to the fullest. Even if you believe their small comments which are intended to be funny won’t matter they do. They often hurt a lot. If the person is someone you cannot cut off like a parent, boss, teacher or any person you love, then remember to be careful and take extra care of yourself when interacting with them.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes :
People often struggle with forgiving themselves for their mistakes. Reparenting your inner child and healing your past wounds may help you forgive yourself more. Objectively assess yourself to see how much was truly your fault – seek help from friends, therapists – some neutral authority and be honest with them and not try to show a better picture etc. Sometimes, it could be survivor’s guilt or narcissistic abuse which leads to guilt even when not your fault. This will help you heal your wounds and love yourself more.
Explore your thoughts :
Traveling alone is healing, people often take trips to reflect on their actions, journaling while outside helps one put their thoughts in one place and find actual answers to things they have been thinking and spiraling about. Traveling alone forces you to talk to new people and enjoy new experiences which is an essential start for self love. Explore yourself, find out what are the things you like and don’t, sometimes people believe that they know themselves because they are ‘them’ but they don’t take this into account that people often change their likes and dislikes . Rediscover yourself
Selfcare and Healthy lifestyle :
Taking care of your body, skin, hair, and mental health is the easiest way to feel good. Any person would feel good after a relaxing spa day. If spa is something that isn’t your style then listening to your favorite music and going on a run or a walk does the same. Self care is simple, do anything that makes you feel like you care about yourself. Make a new skincare routine and or start going on a 20 minute walk everyday. These are all small steps to self care and a better life.
Practicing mindfulness :
Mindfulness is a holistic way of being aware, practicing mindfulness gives you the ability of being able to live in the moment and grasp things faster. It makes you aware of your thoughts and actions, good or bad as they may be.
Always remember you need to love yourself the most and by reading this blog you have already taken one step towards that.
We accept the love we think we deserve, so if you believe that you deserve more you will feel good about yourself.
Even if something doesn’t work out, remember that sometimes things don’t go your way and it is alright.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.Carl Jung.
